“News To Be Enjoyed Over Coffee”

Delivering Smiles Since 1988

Sponsored by:
CHERYL J. MOSER Chartered Professional Accountant


Vol. 1 No. 4:01 April 1, 2024

Everybody’s Talking


Big find: Staff at an upscale pizza restaurant in Sydney, Australia found something they weren’t expecting – a suitcase filled with about $1 million. Senior Constable Chris Nash reports that staff saw a man leave the suitcase behind and they feared it was a bomb. Instead, it was full of 50-dollar notes. The man was later arrested, but police are still investigating whether the money is legitimate or the proceeds are from crime-related activities. Nash explains that if the money legitimately belongs to the man, he’ll be able to keep it. If it’s the proceeds from a crime, the money belongs to the government. If it’s neither, the person who found the money could claim it.

Short-lived joy: David Dopp was overjoyed when he won a $380,000 Lamborghini sports car in a contest sponsored by Maverik convenience stores. However, Dopp was saddened when he crashed the car six hours after he got it. Dopp said he was taking friends and family for a ride when the car hit either loose gravel or ice and started spinning. It crashed through a fence and ended up in a field. There was front-end damage and lots of dents and scratches. Luckily, it was insured. He intends to sell the car once it’s fixed.

Missing thumb: What do you do when you’ve lost your thumb in an accident? You replace it with one of your toes. Scottish fisherman Donald Gunn has been happy ever since doctors replaced the thumb (which he lost when his hand got caught in rope) with the second toe on his left foot. Plastic surgeon Amir Tadros says that particular toe was chosen so Gunn’s balance would not be affected. Gunn says it’s great to have a thumb again, adding it’s amazing what an impact losing your thumb can have. It might be a small part of your body, but its absence rendered his right hand “essentially useless,” he said.

Belt loan: At Northwestern High School in Rock Hill, South Carolina (US), they’re loaning belts to students whose pants sag too far below the waist. It’s the school’s novel approach to a growing problem that has resulted in plenty of trips to the principal’s office. Now, students have the option of hoisting up their pants and borrowing a belt for the day. If there are subsequent incidents, the student could still be written up. Principal James Blake says the school is trying to teach its students that upon graduation, their appearance could mean the difference between getting a job and unemployment.

Quotable Quotes


“Lifting as they climb, onward and upward they go, struggling and striving and hoping that the buds and blossoms of their desires may burst into glorious fruition ere long.”
– Mary Church Terrell


“When you look at the world in a narrow way, how narrow it seems! When you look at it in a mean way, how mean it is! When you look at it selfishly, how selfish it is! But when you look at it in a broad, generous, friendly spirit, what wonderful people you find in it.”
– Horace Rutledge



1. What is the term for the outermost threads of a spider web?

2. The Richter Scale measures what?

3. What is a pinkletink?

4. Who discovered the X-ray?

5. In the sport of boxing, who was known as “The Ambling Alp”?

▼ Trivia answers at the bottom of the page! ▼

What’s Happening


April 2024

Rimbey’s 35th Annual Women’s Conference will take place April 11 at the Peter Lougheed Community Centre (5109-54 Street, Rimbey) from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Featuring a keynote speaker, six concurrent sessions, musical entertainment, buffet lunch, prizes, vendors. Tickets $50. Contact Rimbey FCSS at 403.843.2030.

Innisfail Legion will host an unforgettable evening celebrating Tartan Day and Scottish culture at the Tartan Day Ceilidh April 13 from 4:30 to 10 p.m. 18+ only event. Purchase of ticket ($65 each) includes roast beef & haggis buffet supper, 1 whisky drink ticket, entertainment and dance. Purchase tickets on Eventbrite.ca or contact us at [email protected] for more information. Ticket sales end March 30.

Your Weekly Horoscope


Lucky numbers this week: This week’s odds favour Cancer winners with the luckiest number being 8.

Aries (March 21 - April 20)

Family matters may be draining you emotionally. Your positive attitude will help you to get past the problems at hand and deal with your feelings. Lucky numbers: 7, 17, 27, 28, 37, 38.

Gemini (May 22 - June 21)

Many might try to tell you how it is done, but only you know the best route to take. Keep on plugging away and refuse to listen to negative input. Lucky numbers: 6, 7, 11, 16, 17, 21.

Taurus (April 21 - May 21)

Wake up and take a more logical, realistic approach to your affairs. You may have been dealing with family matters far too emotionally. Lucky numbers: 2, 8, 15, 22, 28, 25.

Cancer (June 22 - July 22)

Disappointing news shouldn’t ruin your ultimate goal. Adjust your plan based on the immediate situation. Strive hard to become more independent. Lucky numbers: 8, 10, 19, 24, 26, 34.

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 23)

The pride you take in all that you do is evident. You could make great strides in your professional and personal life. An award or a bonus may be just around the corner. Lucky numbers: 30, 36, 39, 41, 46, 48.

Libra (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23)

You’re more apt to feel stronger if you stay close to those you trust the most. Your strong relationships will help you with any confidence you feel you may be lacking. Lucky numbers: 17, 27, 28, 37, 42, 48.

Virgo (Aug. 24 - Sept. 23)

Try to work harder on dealing with problems of your past. The bridges you have burned may help you find some answers now. Lucky numbers: 14, 17, 20, 24, 30, 37.

Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22)

Your ideas could have a big impact on those around you. You’ll make a definite difference if you continue to focus on the needs of others. Lucky numbers: 3, 5, 23, 25, 43, 45.

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 21)

You just might be able to spend more time playing this week. You should try to plan for a quiet vacation away from everything stressful.
Lucky numbers: 10, 16, 20, 26, 30, 36.

Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19)

Communications may increase. Your network of friends and colleagues could help you to branch out and your progress will push your confidence level up. Lucky numbers: 2, 14, 18, 22, 24, 28.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20)

Bring family and friends together to discuss recent changes. Time may heal all wounds, but emotional scars can linger. Lucky numbers: 4, 14, 19, 23, 34, 43.

Pisces (Feb. 20 - March 20)

The sheer wealth of the family and friends you have should make your anxieties and worries disappear. Ultimately, you could be perceived as the perfect host. Lucky numbers: 6, 17, 22, 25, 29, 31.

Did you Know?


Feeding time: The first baby bottles, used in ancient Greek times, were urn-like vessels with two openings. One opening was the spot used to fill the bottle. Another beak-like opening held a cloth that absorbed the milk for the baby to suck.

Resting positions: When people are in a supine position, it means they are lying on their backs with their faces up. When resting in the prone position, the person is lying face down.

Underwater fire: The ring of fire in the Pacific Ocean is one of many mountain ranges and volcanoes found underwater. The tectonic plate action in this region has created 75 percent of Earth’s volcanoes.

Hosting record: Actor and comedian Billy Crystal has served as host for the Academy Awards nine times. Crystal has a long way to go though before he beats Bob Hope’s record of 18 times as host.

Spinning neighbor: Earth’s moon rotates at 10 miles per hour, about the speed of a runner. This seems slow when compared to Earth’s 1000 miles an hour rotation.

On the Lighter Side


Caveman No. 1: “What’s the toughest part of hunting?” Caveman No. 2: “Setting up the decoys.”

A friend is someone who hears the song in our heart and tells us honestly that we’re singing out of key.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

Why do alligators make unreliable sailors? Because they always jump ship.

A little girl told her dad that she’d like a magic wand for her birthday and then added, “And don’t forget to put the batteries in.”

There were four cats in a boat, and one jumped out. How many were left? None. They were all copycats.

Trivia answers:

1. Foundation lines 2. Strength of earthquakes 3. Spring peeper frog 4. Wilhelm Rontgen 5. Primo Carnera

This edition has been brought to you by CHERYL J. MOSER Chartered Professional Accountant

© Published with permission of Costain Corp

Please note this issue was published sometime over the past 25 years. Jokes, Trivia, Stories and Quotes may be time specific or reference maybe made to events which are no longer relevant.