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“News To Be Enjoyed Over Coffee”

Delivering Smiles Since 1988

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 Cold Shot

Vol. 3 No. 03:23 Mar 23rd, 2026

Everybody’s Talking

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Happy ending: An elderly American couple from California (US) who could not afford to pay the veterinary bills for their 14-year-old dachshund, Otto, were forced to leave their pet at a shelter. Accompanying the dog was a note explaining Otto’s medical problems and asking that he be put to sleep. Otto was then taken to an animal foster care organization called Leave No Paws Behind, Inc., where staff successfully treated him. They tracked down the couple and happily offered to provide free medical care for the dog for the rest of its life. The couple was overjoyed!

Gentle beast: A situation that could have been tragic turned out to be remarkable in West Bengal, India. An elephant went on a rampage and was stomping though the town. It crashed into the home of a family, breaking down the wall of the baby’s room. As the elephant started backing away, the baby started crying. That seemed to have an impact on the elephant, which returned to the baby and started removing chunks of the wall with its trunk. It seems that maternal instincts kicked in. The baby was unharmed and only had a few scratches from the broken wall.

Coming through!: A woman in the Canadian city of Montreal, Quebec, likes to go with the flow in her electric wheelchair – the flow of traffic, that is. Apparently, the woman thought her wheelchair was every bit as capable as a car and there was no reason why she shouldn’t ride it on a busy freeway during rush hour. The police had a different opinion, however. After receiving reports that a wheelchair was slowing down traffic, they went to investigate. They found the woman attempting to merge into the fast lane from the shoulder of the road. She was promptly led to an off-ramp for her own safety.

Identification, please: If you are a middle-aged, bald fellow, you don’t expect to be mistaken for a pretty, blond woman. But, that is what happened to a British man by the name of Neil Clulow. He booked a flight from Birmingham, England to Alicante, Spain and knew he needed his passport to board the plane. But, instead of his own passport, he took his girlfriend’s by accident. You’d think he would have run into problems with the security staff, but they didn’t even notice that the girl in the photo was definitely not Clulow. When he realized what happened, Clulow had his own passport delivered to him for the trip back.

Quotable Quotes

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“Borrow trouble for yourself, if that’s your nature, but don’t lend it to your neighbours.”
Rudyard Kipling
“Many times the reading of a book has made the future of a man.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“No person was ever honoured for what he received. Honour has been the reward for what he gave.”
Calvin Coolidge

Trivia

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  1. Name one of the smallest dinosaurs.
  2. Ornithology is the study of mountains, birds or shells?
  3. The legendary sword of King Arthur was called what?
  4. What do halcyon days refer to?
  5. The symbol for silver is Ag or Au?

▼ Trivia answers at the bottom of the page! ▼

What’s Happening

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March 2026

Red Deer North & Red Deer South

Petals & Paws: Easter Family Fun
Date & Time: Saturday, April 4, 1:00–4:00 p.m.
Location: Kerry Wood Nature Centre, 6300 45 Avenue, Red Deer
Details: A family-friendly spring event featuring engaging themed stations for kids and families.
For More Information: Call 403.346.2010 or email [email protected]

Hop Into Spring Market
Date & Time: Saturday, March 28, 11:00 a.m.–4:00 p.m.
Location: Cenovus Learning Common, Red Deer Polytechnic, 100 Donald Blvd.
Details: A spring market featuring local vendors and seasonal shopping opportunities.
For More Information: Email [email protected]


Sylvan Lake, Gasoline Alley, Springbrook & Penhold

Knit Wits
Date & Time: Thursday, March 26, 6:00–7:30 p.m.
Location: Sylvan Lake Municipal Library
Details: A creative drop-in group for knitting, crocheting, cross stitch, and embroidery. Bring your own supplies or use available materials while connecting with others.
For More Information: Visit the Sylvan Lake Municipal Library website

Petals & Paws: Easter Family Fun
Date & Time: Saturday, April 4, 1:00–4:00 p.m.
Location: Kerry Wood Nature Centre, Red Deer
Details: Spring-themed stations and activities for children and families in a fun outdoor learning environment.
For More Information: Call 403.346.2010 or email [email protected]


Lacombe, Blackfalds, Bentley & Rimbey

Fish Fry Dinner
Date & Time: Friday, March 27, 5:00 p.m.
Location: St. Stephen Parish Hall
Details: Enjoy battered cod, fries, coleslaw, tea, and coffee. Cash bar available. Admission by donation. Takeout available with a $10 minimum.
For More Information: Call 403.782.5576

Ham Bingo
Date & Time: Saturday, March 28 (doors open 12:00 p.m., games at 1:00 p.m.)
Location: Blindman River Hall
Details: Featuring 10 ham prizes, door prizes, raffle, and 50/50. Cash-only concession. Minors welcome with an adult.
For More Information: Call 403.843.6257

Your Weekly Horoscope

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Lucky numbers this week: This week’s odds favour Taurus winners with the luckiest number being 11.

This weeks edition is sponsored by:

 Cold Shot

Aries (March 21 - April 20)

Working alone, structuring and organizing your life in some way may be the best plan. Put more focus on those tasks that are a top priority.

Lucky Numbers: 16, 27, 28, 29, 30, 41.

Gemini (May 22 - June 21)

Your mental processes could improve, causing you to come up with new solutions to old problems and seek alternatives to the status quo.

Lucky Numbers: 14, 15, 24, 27, 32, 44.

Taurus (April 21 - May 21)

Spending time with the one you love may seem more important to you than work. You might want to plan a little getaway for some rest and relaxation with your mate.

Lucky Numbers: 7, 11, 22, 25, 34, 40.

Cancer (June 22 - July 23)

Be optimistic, hopeful and more receptive to the thoughts and opinions others. Contracts, negotiations and business dealings could be a high priority.

Lucky Numbers: 22, 24, 26, 33, 37, 47.

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 23)

You may be ready to take the initiative in a group situation. You may even play a leadership role in an organization that you are affiliated with.

Lucky Numbers: 23, 36, 37, 39, 43, 44.

Libra (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23)

If you are willing to experiment, you may undergo a refreshing change of pace. Try breaking from your usual routine and be more spontaneous.

Lucky Numbers: 1, 4, 12, 33, 36, 47.

Virgo (Aug. 24 - Sept. 23)

You might consider channelling some of your emotional energy into creative or artistic work. You could discover something that evokes and expresses your deepest self.

Lucky Numbers: 9, 13, 23, 26, 43, 45.

Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22)

You may learn something that causes you to view life in a very different way. It could be easier for you to assert yourself with confidence.

Lucky Numbers: 11, 16, 28, 34, 37, 47.

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 21)

Personal relationships may become more harmonious and rewarding. Understand what others are telling you and make yourself clearly understood, as well.

Lucky Numbers: 26, 27, 29, 32, 36, 47.

Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19)

Your personal independence and self-reliance are important to you. Appreciation for your home and a desire to make it more comfortable could be high on your priority list.

Lucky Numbers: 13, 25, 27, 32, 35, 37.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20)

If you feel competitive and ambitious about practical matters, all of your creative projects and interests could get an extra burst of energy.

Lucky Numbers: 10, 32, 33, 36, 45, 47.

Pisces (Feb. 20 - March 20)

If you notice that others appreciate your honesty, you may feel less inhibited and be able to communicate more spontaneously.

Lucky Numbers: 2, 5, 12, 20, 30, 40.

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Did you Know?

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Notable Museum: Norman Rockwell (1894–1978) was a famous American artist known for his depictions of American culture. There is a museum named after him in his hometown of Stockbridge, Massachusetts (US).

Rocky sight: A unique geological formation of rocks, called inselbergs, can be found in South Australia. Known as Murphy’s Hay Stacks, they consist of weathered pink granite and resemble rounded haystacks when viewed from a distance.

Food breakdown: Digestion of food actually starts the moment you put it into your mouth. Salivary glands located in the walls and floor of the mouth produce saliva, which contains a digestive enzyme that starts breaking down carbohydrates.

Low notes: The tuba is relatively new to the music world. This large brass instrument was first introduced in the mid-1800s and is now common in concert bands, marching bands and some jazz bands.

On the Lighter Side

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What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie-talkie.

Susie: “Scientists who launch rockets into space must be very intelligent.”
Tommy: “I don’t think so, they can’t even count correctly. They always get the numbers backwards.”

What word begins with an E, ends with an E, but only has one letter?
Envelope.

Why were the girls who married Orville and Wilbur so happy?
Because they both married Mr. Wright!

What can you hold in your right hand that you can’t hold in your left hand?
Your left elbow!

Trivia answers:

  1. Compsognathus
  2. Birds
  3. Excalibur
  4. A time of peace or prosperity
  5. Ag

This edition has been brought to you by Cold Shot

© Published with permission of Costain Corp

Please note this issue was published sometime over the past 10 years. Jokes, Trivia, Stories and Quotes may be time specific or reference maybe made to events which are no longer relevant.