“News To Be Enjoyed Over Coffee”

Delivering Smiles Since 1988

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Vol. 1 No. 5:06 May 6, 2024

Everybody’s Talking


Sugary sentiments:
Two inmates writing love letters to their significant others got into a heap of trouble when they decided to add sugary substances to the envelopes before mailing them out. Spokesman Peter Cutler explains that the inmates, confined at Watertown Correctional Facility in New York, were writing sweet nothings to their lovers. For effect, one inmate put sugar in the envelope to show he was ‘sweet on her,’ while the other used lemonade powder to say he’s ‘still sweet enough.’ However, worried officials launched a hazardous materials investigation and police, fire, and rescue units rushed to the jail. There was much relief when the substances discovered were primarily sugar.

Young adventurer:
Some people like to follow in their father’s footsteps. In Amelia Hempleman-Adams’ case, she followed them, literally, all the way to the South Pole. The teenager from Bath, England, skied 97 miles in 17 days in sub-zero temperatures with her adventurer father, David. She claims her biggest challenges were facing the freezing cold, eating dried food, and listening to her Dad’s snoring. Her father had done the trek solo some time before, but this time, his daughter and a team accompanied him. Amelia was happy to have a chance to see what her father does on his expeditions. To prepare for the journey, she spent time adjusting to the cold by spending short stints in a supermarket freezer.

Stuck tight:
A 17-year-old burglar was arrested after he was caught attempting to enter a home via the chimney. This ‘bad Santa’ had become stuck in the chimney and had no recourse but to yell for help. Corporal Jake Smith, spokesman for the Gwinnett County Police Department in Atlanta, Georgia says the teen spent about 10 hours lodged inside the chimney before he was rescued by firefighters, who had to lower ropes down to get him out. The owners of the house were not home at the time and missed all the excitement.

Good deed:
A popular video about a talking dog is now helping other animals at the Halifax Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) in Canada. Andrew Grantham created this hilarious video titled “Ultimate Dog Tease,” that has received over 100 million views on YouTube. It’s a funny video about a dog and its owner having a conversation about food. Its popularity inspired Grantham to design t-shirts, hoodies, and other products to sell on his website, with all of the proceeds going to the Halifax SPCA. He realized the agency handles a lot of cases of animals who need help.

Trophy Loft ad. Promotional Items. trophyloft.com.

Quotable Quotes


“We must indeed all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately.”
-Benjamin Franklin
“He who plants thorns must never expect to gather roses.”
– Arabian proverb
“A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy, but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world.”
– Paul Dudley White



1. In medical terminology what is the term for tennis elbow?

2. In Japan, Ikebana is the art of what?

3. What is gephyrophobia?

4. On what surface is the sport of curling played?

5. If you have scurvy, what vitamin are you deficient in?

▼ Trivia answers at the bottom of the page! ▼

What’s Happening


May 2024


Lacombe Performing Arts Centre is pleased to announce that registration is now open for Summer Camps! Merge nature with art in these day camps for children aged 6-12. Camps run Monday through Friday, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., and feature a variety of arts activities that incorporate or take inspiration from nature, along with fun games. The cost is $150 per child. Limited availability. For more information, call 403.588.4386, email [email protected], or visit lacombePAC.com.

Harmattan Community Centre Hall fundraiser Fashion Show will be held on Thursday, May 9th, at 7 p.m. Enjoy door prizes and a silent auction. For tickets or more information, please call Darlene at 403.556.2480. We are located between Olds and Sundre.

Central Alberta Crime Prevention Centre’s Touch-A-Truck 2024 will take place on May 11th at Westerner Park from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., rain or shine. Tickets available at www.cacpc.ca/touch-a-truck.

ESL with the Henday Association takes place on Tuesdays at the Sylvan Lake Municipal Library (4715-50 Avenue) from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Improve your English conversation skills in a welcoming environment where you can practice speaking and listening while getting to know your neighbors. For more information, please call the Henday Association for Lifelong Learning at 403.227.2866.

Your Weekly Horoscope


Lucky numbers this week: This week’s odds favour Libra winners with the luckiest number being 4.

Aries (March 21 - April 20)

Your confidence level may be in need of a little boost. Get out more and start to make some personal and professional changes that are currently lacking in your life.
Lucky numbers: 6, 13, 19, 26, 44, 45.

Gemini (May 22 - June 21)

In order to feel more secure, you need to become closer to your loved ones. Your happy relationships often reflect the true, kind person you are.
Lucky numbers: 12, 18, 22, 27, 30, 34.

Taurus (April 21 - May 21)

Your creative schemes may help you to overcome some problems, but you may still need to try to make amends. A genuine apology may be in order.
Lucky numbers: 4, 15, 16, 23, 31, 40.

Cancer (June 22 - July 23)

Recent research could uncover some old, lost stories. Your keen interest in history may help you to understand what happened to relatives.
Lucky numbers: 1, 23, 25, 33, 35, 39.

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 23)

Your bright ideas may enable you to advance your own interests. Use your personal influence to establish a strong alliance with those who matter.
Lucky numbers: 3, 16, 24, 32, 39, 48.

Libra (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23)

A new routine might help you to find a better balance of your needs and desires. Adjusting your responsibilities could give you more time for play.
Lucky numbers: 4, 5, 18, 19, 24, 27.

Virgo (Aug. 24 - Sept. 23)

Research and knowledge could be the key to your continued success. Your unique style may help you to establish ways to reach your audience.
Lucky numbers: 22, 25, 29, 32, 38, 43.

Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22)

Perception is the key. You might need to dig deeper into your psyche to find out why friends seem so negative. Maintain your positive attitude.
Lucky numbers: 6, 12, 16, 22, 24, 33.

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 21)

You like to blend in with people in order to observe their true nature. You might feel more at home with them once your unique charm kicks in.
Lucky numbers: 13, 18, 22, 35, 40, 45.

Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19)

You could start to feel a great deal more confident in your workplace. Defending the fragile feelings of others may cause colleagues to sing your praises.
Lucky numbers: 14, 15, 25, 26, 36, 37.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20)

Preoccupation with your favourite hobby may become stronger, but you need to research the data necessary to turn it into a source of revenue.
Lucky numbers: 2, 17, 25, 29, 34, 47.

Pisces (Feb. 20 - March 20)

Your words may seem to flow effortlessly. Promoting your ideas shouldn’t be too hard. Your campaign might be accepted without any hesitation.
Lucky numbers: 5, 8, 12, 16, 30, 34.

Did you Know?


Expensive guitar:
Actor Richard Gere owned a number of guitars which he sold at auction. One of these, a 1960 solid-body Les Paul electric, sold for $98,000.

Old World:
Amish Mennonites migrated to North America from Switzerland and Germany in the 1700s. The main reason this group generally does not accept modern technology is because their faith tells them: “Be not conformed to this world…”

Salt water:
Water makes up about 70 percent of the Earth’s surface. The water in seas and oceans is called seawater and is salty. About 35 grams (1.2 ounces) of dissolved salt is found in every kilogram (2.2 pounds) of seawater.

Sacred scent:
Frankincense is one of the world’s most widely used types of incense. It is produced from a tree that grows on the Arabian Peninsula and has been traded for over 5,000 years. It was also found in King Tut’s tomb.

White or brown?:
A common edible mushroom is the white button mushroom. A good alternative is the cremini mushroom, which some people refer to as Italian mushrooms. These are brown and have a heartier taste.

On the Lighter Side


Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

Huey: “So, you’re the new night watchman. What do you watch?”
Duey: “I don’t know. It’s so dark I can’t see a thing!”

Returning from a birthday party, little Johnny’s mother looked him in the eye and said, “I hope you didn’t ask for a second piece of cake.”
“No,” he replied, “but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make one like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking.”

One of the most popular human pastimes is denial.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

Vinnie: “What do you mean you got thrown out of the flea circus?”
Minnie: “I brought my dog and he stole the show!”

Trivia answers:

1. Lateral epicondylitis

2. Flower arrangement

3. Fear of crossing bridges

4. Ice

5. Vitamin C

This edition has been brought to you by Save-On-Foods Blackfalds

© Published with permission of Costain Corp

Please note this issue was published sometime over the past 10 years. Jokes, Trivia, Stories and Quotes may be time specific or reference maybe made to events which are no longer relevant.